Episode Title: "The Ram Has Touched the Wall"
Original Air Date: September 25, 2005
Episode Grade: C+
There are episodes with enough energy and wit that they can feel eventful and exciting despite a relative lack of plot movement or character development (see The Newsroom's latest episode). "The Ram Has Touched the Wall," Rome's fifth episode, is a vastly different sort of beast. Objectively speaking, a lot of important things happen in this episode. And yet it's basically a bore, a dull affair saved by some outstanding scenes in its last few minutes.
We begin in Pompey's camp, where the great man, realizing his weakness, accepts the (ridiculously unbalanced) offer of truce Caesar sent last week. One thing I wish Rome had done better over the last few episodes is demonstrate exactly why Pompey's position is so weak; instead, Caesar acquires a large supply of gold and Pompey surrenders. This isn't a huge issue (it's not hard for viewers to connect the two points), but it could use some spelling out.
There's an excellent scene later where Caesar, Antony and Caesar's personal slave marvel over Pompey's surrender. Ciaran Hinds continues his good work in his discussions here, simultaneously explaining to Antony why he can't simply reject the truce he proposed and trying to find some pretext for doing so. Their conversation gets at questions of power and manipulation; when Caesar's slave points out that Pompey has the Senate with him, Antony retorts, "In Rome they are the Senate. Beyond the walls they are merely 300 old men."
Caesar finds his pretext in Pompey's refusal to meet him in person; it is a clear, simple explanation that the people of Rome can understand and support. Much to Antony's dismay, however, Caesar refuses to pursue Pompey and decides instead to wait in Rome.
Polly Walker doesn't get a lot of screen time this week, but she is the instigating force behind two of the episode's three significant plots. In the first, she enlists Titus to help Octavian learn to be masculine. The straw that broke the camel's back here appears to be discovering Octavian joyfully painting his sister's toe nails, but this particular issue has been bubbling since the pilot, so it doesn't feel forced.
In the second, Atia finds out from Antony that Caesar's only staying in Rome because of his love for Servilia. This infuriates Atia, and she starts scheming to break up the two.
Atia's hostility, though established in last week's episode, is still difficult to explain. The show offers no compelling reason for it. We're not told that Caesar's relationship with Servilia poses any sort of threat to Atia's position; she's Caesar's niece, not his lover. Her power is familial, and thus not vulnerable to Caesar's flings.
Octavian even points this out, and all she can say is that she's concerned about the Republic. Again, Octavian scoffs at this, and I don't think we're supposed to buy it. At this point, Atia's actions just seem like motiveless villainy, and that's not consistent with what we've seen from her in the past.
But this Roman Iago, this ancient Machiavelli, this scheming evil genius gets her way. We can see this was inevitable after discovering her fiendish plan to hire some dudes to paint graffiti on the walls.
Which...hey, it works, and perfectly. Caesar and his wife Calpurnia are out for a pleasant stroll with their litter and armed guard, and they see the (admittedly quite skillful) depictions of Caesar having sex with Servilia. Calpurnia makes the situation abundantly clear: Caesar dumps Servilia, or he gives his wife a divorce.
What follows is quite masterful, and two people deserve credit for this. The first is Bruno Heller, who wrote the episode. There are no scenes here where Caesar agonizes over the decision, weighing his love for Servilia with his lust for power (Calpurnia's family is quite influential). Instead, Caesar simply makes the only decision he can, and next we see him he is telling Servilia that they will no longer see each other.
The second person who deserves credit is Hinds. His scene with Servilia is utterly brutal, and that's with Lindsey Duncan providing all of the emotion. Hinds plays his part utterly stone-faced; he is terse and direct, and he betrays no ambiguity with Servilia. This is a political decision, not an emotional or romantic one, and he treats it as such.
Our man Lucius Vorenus, meanwhile, has run into some bad luck. The slaves he brought back from Gaul died from disease, and only one scrawny little boy survived. The slaves were the foundation of his business plan, and he has no other way of earning money.
The plot that follows is a little perfunctory. Vorenus initially takes a job as a bodyguard for a local businessman, but has the expected ethical qualms at being told to kill one of the businessman's debtors (he broke the guy's arm with some mild hesitation). He ends up crawling back to Antony and taking the offer he spurned last week: a big promotion, prestigious position and ample signing bonus.
I call this "perfunctory" because the entire plot really just exists to get Vorenus back in the legion. The slaves suddenly dying of the flux...OK, that's fine. It's an excuse, but really, all plot points are just excuses, and the idea that a group of slaves crowded together in squalid conditions would all die of the flux is reasonable enough.
But Vorenus' decision to re-up with the army doesn't seem to fit with what we've seen of him in the past. He won't kill the debtor, but he practically begs Antony for the chance to join the army and kill his fellow Romans, the prospect of which had greatly bothered him before. He has enough sense to be embarrassed by all of this ("I have sold myself to a tyrant").
For all this, the scene where a fully armored and equipped Vorenus receives the blessing of Mars at the god's temple is wonderful, and mostly wordless. The camera is tight on Vorenus' face as he strides through the streets, and the self-loathing Lucius feels is evident there. When he has finished the ceremony, the temple priest smears a streak of blood down the middle of Vorenus' face, and the shot of Lucius wearing his prefect's helmet is striking.
"The Ram Touches the Wall" has a run time of 52 minutes, and through about 40 minutes this is the series' worst episode. The end of the thing salvages it, but taken as a whole this episode is still smaller than the events within it. Technically, this is quite the eventful 52 minutes: Caesar severs his relationship with Servilia, Pompey and the Senate flees to Greece and Vorenus re-joins the 13th Legion.
But this is all put together in such a dull, workmanlike fashion that it has precious little weight.
Notes
- Pullo's manhood lessons quickly turn into him begging Octavian for advice as to whether he should tell Vorenus about Niobe's adultery. Octavian is, for reasons surpassing understanding, quite enthusiastic about helping the soldier he barely knows, and ends up helping Pullo kidnap, torture and kill Evander, the guy who fathered Niobe's child.
- "I dare say I can kill people well enough, as long as they're not fighting back." Rome, perhaps getting a little on-the-nose with Octavian's characterization.
- Atia points out the worthlessness of Greek philosophy by slapping a slave on the head and saying, "Here's a Greek philosopher for you." God, I love her.
- Servilia puts a curse on Atia and Caesar. "Let his penis wither, let his bones crack, let him watch his legions drown in their own blood." As curses go, that's pretty badass.
- I'm still trying to decide how I feel about Max Perkis' performance as Octavian here. He's quite good when he's playing sullen or dismissive, but when he has to confidently explain some point that he's figured out with his mighty intellect it's not at all convincing.
- It's hard to overstate just how brutal the scene with Caesar and Servilia is. It ends when Servilia slaps Caesar, and he responds by slapping her. Hard. Three or four times. Beautifully acted, but tough to watch.
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